"I shall never forget that night in September in which the veil that concealed from me my own incredulity was torn. ...Anxiously I followed my thoughts as they descended from layer to layer towards the foundation of my consciousness, scattering one by one all the illusions that until then had screened its windings from my view, making them at every moment more clearly visible. Vainly I clung to these last beliefs as a shipwrecked sailor clings to the fragments of his vessel, vainly, frightened at the unknown void into which I was about to float. I turned with them towards my childhood, my family, my country, all that was dear and sacred to me; the inflexible current of my thought was too strong - parents, family, memory, beliefs - it forced me to let go of everything. The investigation went on more obstinate and more severe as it drew near its term, and it did not stop until the end was reached. I knew then that in the depth of my mind, nothing was left that stood erect. This moment was a frightful one, and when towards morning, I threw myself exhausted on my bed, I seemed to feel my earlier life , so smiling and so full, go out like a fire, and before me another life opened, sombre and unpeopled, where in the future I must live alone, alone with my fatal thought that had exiled me there..."
Jouffroy
The fatal thought referred to could be the realisation that human beings are here simply to survive and everything we have built up to go with society is meaningless. We existed before law, religion, country and family and we would go on without it. To look for meaning or purpose in life simply makes life easier to live as we'd all much rather have a reason to live beyond staying alive and reproduction. Alas, any close inspection of the numerous definitions of meaning or purpose in life will ultimately ring hollow and betray its human origins and leave us feeling like the French philosopher quoted above.
Of course our instinct is to care and nurture, some have this in abundance for all or reserved solely for their immediate family. Human beings dominant precisely because we are so adaptable, most of us can easily operate and thrive within this manmade structure. What we have succeeded in creating is an environment for more abundant life, I would only be concerned with the quality of that life. The danger being if these man made things like religion, country, money etc become more important than the drives of our essential nature. Maybe we have gone too far in some area's, arguments could be made on both sides on many issues. This paragraph is here only to acknowledge how enormous this subject is, as ever I’m trying my best to be all encompassing in the briefest way.
But on a practical and personal level, when things get too much we would do well to remind ourselves of our essential nature and how meaningless the constraints of society ultimately are. That’s not to say we can avoid its penalties but we can at least see the bigger picture and laugh at it, be less of a victim or even find ways to use this manmade system to turn things to our advantage.
Yes, its still a shocking realisation to make, but only fatal to the lie. The sombre and not completely unpeopled life is where truth lies and that can’t be all bad, there is light here too, just a different kind.
